Sunday, August 28, 2005

Out!

i seriously want to just go out into the world.
Out!

i don't mean come out..like admit that i'm gay or lesbian or whatever..
btw, my kissing scene pix with janica were purely done for art..hehe.. besides, i'm too kikay to fall in love with a girl..

totally out of topic...

what i do mean is.. i admire and hate at the same time those people who know how to show and make good use of their talents without being over-the-top show-offy. you see..i've always wanted to write poetry and sing and stuff like that but i'm afraid that it's not for me...

funny, that for someone like me who can get so garapal at times, i still have stage fright and most of the time i'm still afraid to try out things that i really, really wanted to do..

how long will i have to grit my teeth and watch others who can shine without being painful to look at.. i know, i claim their moments to be mine sometimes..

i want to perform!!!!

shit!

that's why i really want to have a speech choir these year... it's my therapy.. i live for the moments on stage..when you feel you're one with the universe and you become brave enough to spill your guts on stage and do whatever you can!

whew.

it's more than just revenge, i do love being onstage.

C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 9:18 PM

WINNER!!!

sobrang delayed post...

well, my hell weeks are over... i just want to update you,loveys, on our musical..

whee! so much fun and so much pain in the ass..literally! from all the japayuki choreography!
well...my 1-day stint as a moulin rouge pokpok is over but i still relish every moment of kapok-pokan..

from j.polly's famous intro "outside it may be raining..but in here it's entertaining.."
and of course to ears's touching operatic ending "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return..." (sung in a weird chaotic tune)

saya! we did a pretty good job...maybe not as career-ized as Franklin's The Sound of Music... but really somethinG!

congrats din sa cast ng Beauty and the Beast!!! yay! Maxinne was soo galing as the soprano Belle..and Diego was...whoo!!! surprise!! astig..

anyways..I'm glad it's over...finally, i can go home at a decent hour.. but i'll miss the rehearsals and all the pokpok jokes...


but wait!!!

turns out, i wont miss being a pokpok for long..sir VV just told us..we'll be having another performance for the F-day... cool.. i wonder what scary things are in store for us..and the audience...

The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return. --Edwin Aldrin"EARS" R. Sagmit

C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 5:44 PM

Sunday, August 14, 2005

the other end of the line

The other end of the line
This song drives me crazy. Three doors down and Coldplay drive me crazy. I love them both but their songs really tear me into pieces. Coldplay's earlier songs like The Scientist and Yellow drive me nuts. Lately, Trouble has been giving me the same effect.
Now, it's Let Me Go by Three Doors Down. Damn.
I really cried when I heard it this week in Queen M's car. It's worse because I know I'm on the other end of the line.
I just want to share with you my pain.. so
"Let Me Go"
One more kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
[Chorus]You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Let me go
I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm goin through
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on meI
n this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
[Chorus]You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Just Let me goo...
Let me go
And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside
I know I knowww..
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
Who knows
[Chorus]You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know Who I am
So let me go
Just let me go
And you love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't know who I am
And you love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't know me

C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 7:03 PM

support saksakpuso..

I am indeed a Jeona fan.
So here it is... her "controversial" blog... full of deep musings and very interesting art.

astig!

C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 6:54 PM

vexed

S.L.

I'm not talking to you ever again.
It's not impossible. I did it once, remember?

C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 2:30 PM

Saturday, August 13, 2005

The Heart of the Matter

The Heart of the Matter
Is a matter of the heart.
One...
Two...
Three...
And it came just like that...
No bitterness, no grudge, just sadness that slices the air painfully.
She told me, it was just that one particular instant-
that you realized
momentum.
In that same instant,
I realized defeat.
And now I am bound with but the length of days.
Bullshit. Ang sakit.

C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 6:52 PM

Ang Sakit! : Post UPCAT "Woes"

Ang Sakit! : Post UPCAT "Woes"

That's it...
My four (or so) years of constant dreaming, condensed into 4 (or so) hours of grueling mental workout ended in migraine and yes,tears.

I think I blew it up!!!!!

The Math part, I mean. Well, the rest was pretty easy. Yeah, the language and reading comprehension part siguro, but science was a bit "jargonic" as Carlo puts it.

I woke up at around 3 am, and no one else in the house was eligible/willing to accompany me to UP due to certain conditions: 1. Vatti is not the best driver at around 3 am. 2. I lost in the contest I had in grade school when Mutti went with me. (Conclusion: siya ay jinx!) So, I had to go with Tito Tonet who does not and will not own a car, and according to his terms, we will commute.

Hooray!

What a taxi ride! It was already 6:15 and we were stuck at Philcoa. Thankfully, my sweat glands were pretty much dormant that time.

Well, I guess I'll have to skip,skip,skip... Cause I want to share the best part about my UPCAT experience...

Nope, it's not that the first question was already given in our review session last week. And nope, it's not because of the surprisingly immaculate comfort rooms in Malcolm Hall. It's because...

Our tester was a god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He looked every inch a rock god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And that, inspired me to answer all the questions in Math in the best way that I can (i.e. Eenie-meenie method, and random pointing).

I have to pass!!!!!

The math part was soooo vague. You know, I'm so used to that feeling of panic everytime I have to answer a math test, but the UPCAT was different. I felt sooo helpless,bombarded with arithmetic progressions and logarithms. Sometimes, during particular instances when you feel so helpless, everything stops and your whole life, from your existence as a fetus comes flashing back at you.

It happened to me.

Seventeen times.

C'est tout.

C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 5:08 PM

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Waiting for Sunday

Waiting for Sunday
Today, I woke up at aorund 1 am. Panic! Panic! Panic! I searched for my phone, and i said 1:08 am Saturday.
Geeze. False alarm.
I went back to bed, and after twitching for sometime, I fell asleep again. In my dream, I gracefully sauntered into Malcolm Hall, feeling pretty good about myself, then I realized I forgot to bring pencils.
Arrgggghh!!!! Nothing is worse than being stuck at home, just waiting for Sunday. I'm trying to start working on my projects but the rents say I have to rest.
Now, I feel guilty about Mutti because we had another stupid fight last night about not recharging my phone battery. As usual, I went melodramatic and said that she cares about my phone more than she does about me.
Plus, Jay and I had our regular Friday fight- this time, it's really petty because it's just about money and I hate fighting over money. I was really vexed yesterday because the review session realy strained and drained me, still he insisted on talking about something which was obviously a bad topic for that time.
Sobrang LMAP.
That's why I was so mean to him yesterday. I really said a lot of mean things (of course, I wouldn't take them back), and I felt doubly guilty when I read the messages in my phone and saw one from him wishing me good luck in the test.
Then,there's that ugly rumor- okay it's not that grave or whatever but it's ust so annoying. Jhek told me just not to pay attention to that, but I am so VEXED.
Darn. I've been saying "vex, vexed and vexations" everyday.
I am so irrational right now.
**no kisses from me this time...**

C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 10:52 AM

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

The Beso

Hallo, loveys! I'm here again, and eversince the wonderful random sectioning occured I have been imbibing a lot of trivial and vital staff about the culture of our batch.

First of all, I have learned to appreciate my batch- the noise, the "camaraderie", the intrigues and the being pasaway. I have met and made friends with a lot of people, which is really cool. Sometimes, people go like "Hello?! Di mo pala siya kilala." Simple things like that. Still, it's weird. We can't help but be branded as the GC ones (well, because that's the truth). Our daily luggage seem to be the giveaway clue to our identities, and I keep on asking my classmates what they put in their shoulder bags and how they could go to school with that. In turn, they ask us (especially, Janica) what we put in pur bags and how we go to school all looking like the Kampanerang Kuba with our bulky backpacks.

Well, my biggest question is yet to be revealed... but it's really funny, because I have only been introduced to this practice in high school.

Why do we do the beso?
When we were younger, the beso was for matronas and doñas in heavy makeup and they do the "mwah-mwah" without even getting close to the other person.
Well, I've been doing the beso for four years now, but I still don't know anything about it. First of all, how do you initiate a beso??!!! It's gonna be really awkward if you don't know how. Also, I think it's a sign of affirmation of friendship, but I don't get it when random people or just plain acquaintances do the beso with me. It's just weird, but at the same time fun. You just can't help bu say to yourself, "Hallur!!!!"
Dismissal time seems to be the climax of every schoolday for the seniors. Within those 15 minutes of our legal stay after classes- it's just a whirlwind of name-calling,socializing and PDA. It's couples-galore. Of course, whenever there are couples, there are friends of the girlfriend. "Girl friends or Girlfriends"=several rounds of besos.
Hahahaha... I am so sick... This is what you get when you pretend to study so much..
Well, i gotta do some stuff...
Beso from the Goddess....*Mwah-Mwah*

C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 9:54 PM