Tuesday, September 19, 2006
it's time for a revolution!
What's with the day? Why am i beginning to self-pity? It's hard enough to know for yourself that you're not good enough, but it's just too shattering to have a total stranger say that my work amounts to nothing. Zero. Pointless. Worthless.
Should I blame myself for thinking that I was something good? Should I stop thinking that I ammade to be something great? Self-help inspirational books can easily tell me to stop moping and get my ass of the couch and start doing something.
I don't know. The world has proof.
The world has proof that I really am not good at whatever bull I love- even this blog. I could still not believe that someone or something could easily decide that - oops, sorry but this is not worth anything.
Come on. Why does the world have to be too hard on me? I'm just a kid. The sadder thing is, there are so many kids my age who can do a lot better, who know a lot better.
Should I blame all of this on my grandmother, who made me believe I was so good at too many things?
Should I blame you for spitting it out on my face?
Should I blame myself for believing whatever crap you say about me, and how I am not worth anything at all?
Maybe, I just need an affirmation.
All efforts I have exerted amount to zero? At least, it's not a negative number. I could not believe this... Maybe in the first place, I was just too vain to think that I'm smart and funny and interesting and whatever crap you can think of.
Gaaaah! I want to fucking tear you apart.
C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 6:48 PM
