Sunday, September 17, 2006

the war is on: prepare to know thy enemy

this week has officially marked the beginning of the silent war between us, Team UP Diliman sisters, and them- Team Devilbears (or La Famille Zut,according to Treisha). It all started last Sunday, upon the arrival of Sharon to our lovely abode.

Just who the hell is Sharon? Wait, is that really her name or did I just make it up? Why has she come?

"Sharon" is the new addition to Team Devilbears. She is actually their maid. Ha! Up to this day, we still don't know where she sleeps. Amazing! They can't afford to rent the whole apartment when they own an internet cafe and a car and a maid. Plus, Maman DB has designer jeans!

Yes, she does! And what do I mean by designer jeans? I'm talking Michael Kors. ang gagang yun!

Well, darlings shall we let them deprive us of our rights and dignities??! NO! definitely no! We must fight! But the first step should always be knowing thy enemy. Here's a brief profile of Team Devilbears.

Daddy DB:
he appears to be the most diplomatic member. he doesn't talk much, but he snores SO LOUD!!!! he always sleeps late (well, we can still hear their TV at 12 midnight) and wakes up very very late - this might explain the chunkiness.

Maman DB:
she appears to be nice, but we all know she isn't. she has the phoniest smile in the entire universe and has that air of haha-i'm-wearing-michael-kors-jeans-and-you're-not she is also a chain smoker. hooray for her and her health!

Baby DB:
is a brat. actually, he should be out of this since he's just a poor high school freshie. but hey! it's a package. he just eats a lot. but he's usually the reason for the 5 AM chaos everyday. There's always some "Baby DB!!!! Wake up!!! You're gonna be late for school!!!!!"

Sharon:
is ze maid. she's a bland character as of the moment, but she messes and re-arranges our things constantly, which is unforgivable. when she first saw me, she asked me if we were bedspacers.

Ha! Bedspacers your ass! I replied in a voice loud enough to shake the walls. "No, we are NOT bedspacers. We rent half of this unit, which means half of everything -including the kitchen, the area downstairs, the cabinets. half of everything."

and... dandandaaaaaan...

Grandmere DB:
is the female version of Darth Vader. She looks a bit like Granny from the looney tunes. At first, we thought she was sweet and warm, but it was just a mask. If you've seen Duplex (with Ben Stiller and Drew Barrymore), she is just a few years younger than the old lady but twice as evil.

Sometimes, when we meet in the kitchen, i bite my lips hard and try not to look at the very tempting sight of knives. Gaaaaaah!

Darlings, help us in our battle! I feed on your strength! In the mighty french words of my sis Treisha, "Nous combattrons!"

We must fight! We must not bow down to oppression! Show your support by well, i dunno, maybe you can sport this logo...

C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 9:12 AM

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