Wednesday, January 24, 2007
you are listening to the sound...of oblivion.
hanep sa title. tamang emo kunwari.but hey! i have reason to be emo- i mean death is supposed to be so common, so normal. i really don't want people to feel sorry for me or whatever, but it just kills me when they find out and go, "Oh my... I'm sorry. Everything's gonna be okay."
The worst thing was being ordered to stop crying, to compose myself and do whatever i had to do like clockwork because everything will be okay.
everything's not okay. at least in my universe. it's so easy for you to tell me to stop crying and compose myself because you have no idea how dreary it is to come home and be reminded that you just lost someone.
on the other hand, it feels good to be surrounded by the things and people that can make you forget. i'm usually the one who goes around to ask people at random if they're happy. i don't feel a drop of happiness in my veins. at a time like this, i'd go for comfort - my old happy birthday pillow, a cup of swiss miss and yes, a hug.
why are we all supposed to grow up so fast? everybody tells me that i should start facing the all-too-real harsh realities of life because it's not forever that i'll have chaperones and other people to do things for me. i know. but i just simply thrive on comfort, and now all those things that bring me comfort are -well, nowhere to be found.
this is not what i wanted, not at all. i have lost the eagerness to taste whatever sweet victory lies at the end. i just long for the comfort of my old life.
thank you.
C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 1:20 PM
