Monday, November 26, 2007
pimp my booty
We, the curvier species of womankind, also turn to retail therapy for inner harmony and self-actualization and naturally, just like all other women, fall for some trends that don’t actually work so well for the extra ungh-unghs. This is not to say that we can’t work the trendier pieces of fashown, it’s just that it usually gets trickier.
A good example would be skinny jeans. They are actually (and surprisingly) comfortable but they look funny on me, who has hips good for three persons. Mutti, ever the voice of dignity and self-esteem, says that big girls should care less about what others dictate and more about what makes them (us) feel confident and sexxxxay.
I know, right. It’s just that clothes shopping can be a bit frustrating when most stores offer jeans with the biggest available size being 4. Plus size departments aren’t any boost for morale either, when the tags bear xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. Look, I know I’m big. Don’t scream it to my face.
Anyway, what is the point of all this? I ask myself while listening to Mika’s Big Girl (You Are Beautiful). While I should be all about loving myself, I should also think about loving other people and making them feel self-confident as well.
So in a moment of utter geniosity, I came upon the wonderful (not to mention very very gracious) idea of donating my boobage, booty and hips to the less-privileged but deserving women (or men) out there in time for the holidays.
Ha! I told you I’m a very charitable person. This is perfect. Ever since I was little, I’ve always fantasized about not ever needing a bra, and actually looking respectable in tank tops and dresses (with nothing spilling out). Don’t you just love it? It’s a win-win situation for me and you my “less-endowed” chums.
Actually, you girlfriend with the 32A brassiere, you are not less-endowed. You should be very very happy that you get to enjoy doing calisthenics, aerobics, jogging and motor sports without any pain in your chest area, without any fear of something hitting your face.
So here’s the mechanics, send a photo and a 300 word essay on why you deserve to get your booty pimped this Christmas. The winner receives the package delivered to his/her doorstep on Christmas.
For those who won’t win, just think of me while you do your jumping jacks or ride the trike on a bumpy road.
Labels: body image, body issues, booty, charity work
C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 5:56 PM
