Wednesday, May 09, 2007

guess who's sort of back???!!!

yaaaaayyyy!!!!

first of all, lemme thank everyone (friends and strangers alike) who tried to keep me sane on my hell days. thank you mutti (for the detox whatnot and buying me shoes to make me feel better). thank you karen for trying to tell me i'm not such a fattie. hahaha.

and thanks leslie for the encouragement. grabe. is it true that there are people out there who look up to me? grabe, kids! you are ruining your chances to a bright future. hahaha.

i'm still stuck in a rut. i went shopping last week to chase away the weight loss blues, and i realized it's not the smartest idea. see, i just got reminded of my "battle with the bulge" (grabe. that's how cheesy as it can sound!) when i was looking around for jeans. to begin with, i've always had the fatal big hips and big butt combo. in short, i have the body that only a brother can love. well, i'm not sure, but yall know they like their women thick in da hood.

okay, what was that??!!! hahahahaha.

let me go on with the deal about the combo. there i was looking around for jeans and i was asking the clerk if they had this particular style in my size. the clerk goes all sad and told me they only had mid-waist jeans in my size.

what the sammilbee am i supposed to do with mid-waist jeans???! for those who don't know, they are the kind of jeans which are a few stitches away from being mom jeans. i almost hit the clerk with my hand bag, but since i am a nice person i just looked for other jeans.

most of the styles on display were size 2. who the hell, well aside from fido dido, can wear size 2 jeans. sure, a lot of hollywood stars wear size 2 or 0 - just ask the Olsen twins. but hey, real women have freaking curves.

haaay, well i've lost 5 pounds which is great. reaaally great. i'm not dying to be thin cos i know i can't do that and my allowance can't buy me drugs (yet). hahahaha. so i'm sticking to my silly pilates routine with the stretchy bands. the workout's fun cos i get to pretend like i'm a ninja turtle.

the downside is that i still look fat. like, helllooooo??!! i am fat. hahaha. the people who were at karen's party can attest to that. but i'm feeling pretty good right now and being less mopey. hurray!

wait till i fit in those jeans, you you you clerk with the awful too-thick foundation!!!
xxmimose

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C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 8:13 PM

Thursday, April 26, 2007

hiatus

i am so depressed, mainly because of my weight issues once again. i've decided to go on a blog leave because people don't really care right now and i'm too stuffy to write anything insightful or positive.

haaaay... this is a big cliche but of course i want to be a better person in all aspects of my being. i feel terrible right now. i look like a cow. (although, a cow would look waaaaay cuter.) i just simply want to disappear for the rest of the summer until i get my life fixed.

damn detox. sure, it purges all the "bad stuff" out of your system but it also causes you to balloon afterwards. yeah, yeah. what a lame excuse.

karen dear, it is out of pure love and sisterhood that i have wholeheartedly agreed to host your party on the 5th, even though i look like a mini goodyear blimp right now.

i look so fucking terrible. grabe. i hope this isn't turning into a psychological disorder. gaaah, who would ever want to be friends with a fat wacko.

pray for me. i don't ever want to turn into the cat lady.

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C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 10:36 PM

Sunday, March 11, 2007

i gotta work it!

haaay naku! it's this time of the year that i am harshly reminded that i am too fat. gaaaaah!!!! pano ba naman, eh they're beginning to show ads of happy barkadas frolicking on the beach and wearing ridiculously tiny bikinis.

and so, out of frustration, i decided to go to the place i dread the most...

not the dentist's

not church

but the gym!!!!

i swear i almost died! and what is up with all these gym freaks! last time i went (late 2005, i guess) , i had fellow fatties for support. but nooooo!!! yesterday, the gym was filled with the really buff guys and these reed thin girls.

what is up with such??!!

it's really freaky. the other girls were all like, "geeze, i ate a whole cracker yesterday. i am such a pig!" naturally, an equally skinny girl will butt in and say, "shut up. i'm the pig. look at my thighs, they're like logs."

(note: her thighs were approximately the size of a rolling pin.)

yeaaaah, and there i was the goodyear blimp desperately trying to look good at capoiera. hahahaha. this is all because Lowell and I were pretending to do capoiera at the LRT2 katips station the other night, after the Jackie abduction/ 18th bday supplies!!!

shet. humanda kayong lahat when i finally lose weight!!! in the mean time, let me enjoy my chocnut.

xxmimose

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C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 3:11 PM

Sunday, March 04, 2007

so not fab!

gaaaaah!!! it's too late, but hey at least i finally realized that i gained weight again. fuck thaaaaat. right now, i am fat and pimply and ugly and single (to my mom's dismay).

shit na so fucking malagkit.

therefore, it is better for me to postpone OPERATION: PLANNER to make time for OPERATION: FABULOSITY! i must lose weight!!!! Gaaaah!!!

But eating is waaaaay funner than slaving over the treadmill! Nooooo! What must I do? I had a talk recently with Jan, and I swore that I'll lose weight the natural, legal and clean way. Meaning: I'm gonna workout?

Fuck that. You know what gets me down, and what made me realize again that I am un-fab? There's this girl from my ge class, who's like twice as big as I am. (No kidding. I am not saying this to make me feel better. It's true!!!!) And everytime, she would saunter into the room wearing either a tube top or a backless top and...

drumroll please....

PERK-PERK SHORTS!!!!!!

What the Sammilbee??!!!

Everyone's wearing the damned thing- everyone! Even fatties! But not me!!!! See, I really have no intentions of wearing perk-perk shorts, but here's this one girl (waaay bigger than moi) who makes me look so bad as if everyone can really wear perkies.

Haay. Will not drink cokes anymore. When I finally lose weight, prepare to meet your doom- which comes in the form of one crazy bitch wearing perkperkperk shorts, or even skinnyjohns for that matter! I don't care if they're not uso by then. i just want to seek revenge.

die skinny bitches,die!
or die, skinny jeans, die!
or die, perkyperkperkperk, die!
xxmimose

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C h i n i k a n i M i m o s e n u n g b a n d a n g 5:35 PM